You want to make everyone happy. So, you avoid conflict at all costs. Your inner voice is your harshest critic, it puts you down even when you feel like youre doing well. Sometimes, you wonder why you are successful. You feel unqualified for your career even though you know that’s not the case. Then, you beat yourself up over the tiniest mistakes. You can’t get away from the hopeless feeling that nothing you do is ever going to satisfy the bully in your brain. When you get home you feel like you have to take care of everyone else. And, you’re ignoring your own needs, forgetting to take time for yourself.
Being a woman comes with a unique set of mental health challenges. Many women struggle with perfectionism, caretaking, needing validation, and imposter syndrome. Although it’s normal to struggle with these and the desire to be liked, when it causes you to feel anxious, depressed, or insecure, then it’s time to consider counseling for women.
Common Reasons to Consider Counseling for Women:
It’s estimated that one in five women have a mental health disorder. It’s important to note how common it is so we can normalize these concerns and the need for counseling. Common mental health concerns women have include:
Anxiety- Depression
- Trauma and PTSD
- Bipolar Disorder
- Intimacy and relationship issues
- Eating disorders and body image issues
- Perfectionism
- People pleasing
- Imposter syndrome
Many women struggle with the desire to be perfect and feel validated.
Perfectionism is something many women struggle with. Rather it’s in your work, love life, the way you dress, or the image you present to others; the desire to be perfect can be all-consuming. Sometimes, this desire is so strong that you doubt your worth and always seek validation from others. The influence of social media has a profound impact on women’s mental health and self-confidence. How are you supposed to feel good about yourself when you get on Instagram and Facebook and see perfectly manicured influencers talking about the latest trends.
Furthermore, perfectionism can cause you to avoid taking chances for fear of not being perfect. Maybe you didn’t go out for a promotion or didn’t ask that guy on a date. Perhaps, you didn’t go to the party because you’re having a bad hair day and can’t find anything to wear.
If you struggle with perfectionism, you may feel the need to be perfect or for others to perceive you as perfect. You have a fierce inner critic that can even be abusive at times. Your inner critic punishes you if you make what you think is a mistake. And, it admonishes you if you are not as far along in meeting your goals as you believe you should be. Perfectionism often shows up as anxiety, waves of guilt, and shame. You may even wake up in the morning feeling anxious and guilty before the day even begins.
Perfectionism, Caretaking, and Motherhood
Women are socialized to be caretakers. Women are taught that they must put other’s needs and desires before their own. The media shows images and publishes articles on how to be a good homemaker, and Pinterest Moms seem to be everywhere. This creates an impossibly high standard for women to live up to. And, when you can’t, or life gets a little messy, you often feel anxious, depressed, and they doubt their self-worth. Caretakers often feel overwhelmed, overworked, and taken for granted.
On the other hand, some women do not want to get married or have children and struggle to explain this to others. The image of the perfect wife and mother is so ingrained in our culture that others don’t understand or respect why a woman would not want these things. This causes women who are confident in their decision to doubt themselves and feel selfish. Often these feelings can cause more serious mental health issues.
Perfectionism can lead to Imposter Syndrome
When women can’t recognize their worth, they frequently wonder why they are so successful. Or, they downplay their success to others. For example, you may attribute getting a promotion at work to luck and wonder why you’re successful when you can’t seem to do things right. If you struggle with imposter syndrome may feel like if others actually knew you, they would find out that you can’t do your job well. Or, you fear that others will find out you are not as skilled, capable as others believe you to be.
A study by Hewlett Packard shows that men will apply for a promotion when they meet 60% of the qualifications for a job, but women won’t apply until they are positive they meet 100% of the qualifications. Believing their success is due to luck and feeling like a fraud often causes women to push themselves to work harder than all their co-workers. Also, it may lead them to be fiercely independent and know-it-alls.
Many Women Struggle with People Pleasing
Women who struggle with people-pleasing believe they can make others happy and attempt to do so often at the expense of their happiness and autonomy. But, people-pleasing is not really about pleasing other people. It’s actually about controlling the situation to avoid the negative feelings you experience if someone else is angry or sad. You feel okay when those around you feel okay.
People-pleasing may lead you to do things you don’t want to do or don’t enjoy doing. You want to avoid upsetting someone so badly that you forego your own happiness. But, in the end, you’re unable to control the emotions of others. And, when they do get upset, your sense of self-worth is depleted.
What Causes These Issues?
Many times, these issues are caused by things that happened to women in the past or the way they grew up. For example, experiencing trauma can be a significant factor in developing these tendencies and beliefs. Maybe, you experienced trauma, direct abuse, neglect. Or perhaps, you just didn’t get the love you needed in childhood due to your family situation.
Understanding the cause of these tendencies is important in developing a plan to help you overcome them and develop confidence and build your sense of self-worth. Often, you may not even realize what is holding you back. That’s okay. During counseling for women, we can determine the cause of your mental health struggles and help you overcome them.
My Approach to Counseling for Women
As a woman myself, I understand what you’re going through. But, I’ve helped many women just like you overcome mental health issues such as these and thrive. I believe that by healing past hurts in counseling for women you can find a sense of peace and move forward in your life.
To help you identify the things in your past that are contributing to your struggles, I use a variety of therapeutic techniques. Most notably, I provide EMDR and Brainspotting, which helps clients uncover traumatic memories and challenging events in their lives. By uncovering these uncomfortable memories or thoughts, my clients can move forward. They learn to reprocess these memories or life events in a way that is less triggering, so they’re no longer “stuck” in the past.
I am also an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist. I use this technique to help my clients understand why on one hand, they may not want to people-please or be a caretaker, but on the other hand, they feel compelled to do so and even guilty if they don’t. (IFS) helps clients discover their true sense of self so they can thrive and live the life they want.
What you Can Expect from Counseling for Women
The women I work with say that after counseling, they feel lighter and are able to understand the motives behind their actions better. They feel confident and free. No longer are they held hostage by their past trauma and fears of rejection.
Counseling for women can help you be more in control of their minds, emotions, and life. You will discover your true sense of self and learn to prioritize your mental health, needs, and dreams. Ultimately, you will learn to tools to live the life you always hoped for and wanted.
Begin Counseling for Women in Bradenton, FL:
You don’t have to struggle with these issues in silence. No longer do you have to put everyone else’s needs before your own. Take control of your life and your destiny by getting counseling for women. To begin therapy in Bradenton, FL, follow these steps:
- Reach out to Forever Free Counseling to make an appointment for a free consultation.
- Get to know Elizabeth and learn more about her approach to counseling for women.
- Begin therapy and overcome the issues you’re experiencing so you can live the life you want.
Other Services Offered at Forever Free Counseling
In addition to counseling for women, I offer a variety of counseling services at my therapy clinic located in Bradenton, FL. My office is located close to Lakewood Ranch. My individual mental health services include Christian counseling, treatment for childhood sexual abuse and emotional abuse, grief counseling, Brainspotting, EMDR, IFS therapy, sexual anorexia treatment. I offer relationship therapy services including couples therapy and marriage counseling, counseling for emotionally destructive relationships, therapy for partners of sex addicts, relationship anxiety therapy, infidelity counseling, and sex therapy. If you’re unable to come to my counseling office, I offer online therapy in Florida and group counseling services. Reach out to me and learn how I can help you feel free of your burdens.
